he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
