i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
