So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
