I feel like abortions should bother me more
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Even my vagina gasped.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
