nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
