Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
