DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
