I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
