I bet he comes in French.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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