What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
