Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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