You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
