His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I just put wine in my tea
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
