Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
please come you make the beer taste better
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize