she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize