i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
