Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i will never coherently bang her
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
