Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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