My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize