Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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