Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
