to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
