Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
