I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
