No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
