we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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