i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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