Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish i was in the wii world.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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