I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
