Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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