quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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