I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
