He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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