Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
