But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
