you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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