We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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