So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
