this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
