i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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