A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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