Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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