Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
