Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
