is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
