The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
