so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I could make wine with my vomit
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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