I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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