Do vagina's smell?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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