To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
