Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
