How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize