I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
