New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
