walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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