READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
