just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
How's work?
Spinning.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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