is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
