i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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