then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
