just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
