so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize