I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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