yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
