I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
