god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
