OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
