i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
