Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't deserve a penis
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
