I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize