Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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