My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
