hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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